Is it Time to Start Grief Counselling?

How do you know when its the right time to pursue professional help amidst a time of grief.

Grief is a feeling that lingers unlike any other, uncertainty is rife during the beginning of this experience and only slightly eases with time. The worry surrounding if you're ready to talk about this loss and emotions can be over whelming, whether it's still too fresh or if you're concerned it will re-open old, unresolved wounds.  

Counselling is daunting for everyone, but it is especially scary for a young person who has lost the stability of a parent. No one expects to lose a parent young, despite the high statistics.  

Its Time Charity was established by a young man struck by the death of his mother. Only being nineteen and one month into university, they looked around and saw very little help for young people suffering. Run by volunteers who have also experienced parental loss, it's very much about peer support.  

Group therapy and online communities allow the charity to cover as many people as possible and allow for accessibility. Local groups meet for support walks, runs and indoor activities given the cold weather.  

Representative of the charity, Katrina Alcock, understands the stress in starting something new. 

“I think it can be daunting. What I always say to the volunteer group leaders, some of the more remote ones “Maybe you don’t get huge numbers but to keep going” Because it can take a while to get up the courage to actually walk through the door. So, people might sign up and not actually turn up for several months because they're trying to get the confidence together.” 

To calm the nerves of those interested Its Time are incredibly open about their volunteers and their experiences. Being able to identify the person closest to your experience may make it easier to approach counselling as a whole.  

Everything is dependent on your preference and where you are in your grief journey. Therapy may be the exact thing you need, or alternatively you may need a hobby, or stability of some kind.  

“The therapy might be right for you, but it might not be right for you. Maybe, you know, you just want to make some friends who have been through the same thing because you might have a hundred friends, but if they haven't experienced it other people don't necessarily get it. So maybe it's just about finding a community, maybe it's about therapy, maybe you're into reading. I suppose it's more about the personality of the person and what is right for them. Rather than saying this is the one prescriptive root through” 

Ultimately, waiting past the threshold of six months is advised. This early period can be difficult, messy and a little all over the place. Past this, it is easier to identify with yourself and be aware of what aligns with you, truly.  

“We have people come through 10 to 15 years down the line where the grief is just different. I’ve got a volunteer who isn't keen on getting married, lost a parent 10 years ago, but their mum won't be there. They don’t want to ever get married, so maybe that's something they could work with a therapist to work past. You know, it’s funny how it comes up to bite you down-the-line when you’re not expecting it, when you become a parent yourself for the first time or you're young and you get your first job. Who do you talk it through with?” 

There is no expected start date or expiration date on grief, no pressure to start or finish. The remedy to grief is not a tangible thing but is an individual process that consists of many things. Perhaps therapy is right for you, maybe running relieves your stress or it could be that time does help heal.   

To find out more, you can visit It's Times website here...