The Chase for Platonic Friendship Amidst a Loneliness Epidemic

Why small social groups in Edinburgh are so enticing, and how they can push you out of your comfort zone.

Credit- Ini, the founder.

It's true that when you step into adulthood it is harder to make friends and stay in contact with old ones. Solutions have come and gone; social medias main purpose allows connection from afar but denies physical company and comfort. Social groups such as Edinburgh's own Oremi, seek to flatten that wall of disconnection and open a physical space to meet new people in a platonic sense.  

Power in the platonic is their catchphrase. Music, writing and fibre arts are some of the few things this group has to offer. Its start stems from pure love and recognition of human connection.  

“I just think platonic friendships are so important. I think they make such a big difference, and I think society isn't great at noticing that or if we are, we’ve only started to in the last 20 or whatever years before it was all about romantic connections, which obviously are great, but its a lot to ask one person to be all of these things to you” 

After chatting to some people, Ini found that their personal friends hadn't found comfort or vulnerability with their pals, only in their partners. The point of Oremi and social groups alike is to counteract this by initiating friendships beyond the surface level, third spaces like Oremi create a place where every attendant is participating in the event with the sole intent of friendship.  

“It's nice being in a space where you know that everyone else has also signed up to make pals. You're not being weird if you ask for someone's Instagram, or if you're like I really enjoyed chatting with you, would you like to get a coffee? That's kind of normalised” 

It may be daunting to attend with a group of strangers, especially in an unfamiliar venue. Time to settle into these events is a must, but the interactive nature of these meetings intends for you to complete a task with one another or have a specific topic of discussion. Thereby easing everyone into a more relaxed environment.  

“People are so much more like open and willing to chat once they’ve been doing something with someone for a little bit or if they have something to talk about as opposed to like What do you do for work? How did you find out about this event?” 

The future of Oremi is unsure in the grand scheme, but what is for sure, is that friendship is needed all over the globe for all different demographics. 

“People are lonely everywhere, if we’re being honest with ourselves. People need friends everywhere”  

A large number of groups for all sorts of people have opened all around Edinburgh, from women only groups such as Girls Craft Club, to ones of recent graduates. Ini suggests these are a result of a “Loneliness epidemic” that is directly affecting our mental and physical health at all ages.

“We had a collaging event, and I was sat next to this really sweet lady who was 70, and her husband had recently died. She’d been cutting out newspapers all day for this specific collaging event, and I just think like, you need pals too” 

In an effort to attract members of varying backgrounds, more pictures on social media showcasing the mixture of genders have encouraged a higher amount of men to attend the group. In general, Ini wants to encourage more male participants and bridge the gap in communication between male friendships. Pushing for deeper conversations and into something more vulnerable. While one small group cannot fix the larger issues of stigma and loneliness in greater society, Oremi are trying to make a small dent.  

“I think the issue is a much bigger issue in society than we could (tackle), but I would like to think that encouraging guys to come along to things that are seen as stereotypically female. Ive been realising that again, knitting is unisex, and creative writing is unisex, being creative is not for only women” 

In the long run, the effectiveness of groups such as Oremi only work when you yourself are bold, Ini encourages everyone at the end of an event to push through that fear of rejection and ask for their number.